The Midwesterner & the Fruitloop

I have weird encounters all the time. I try to be compassionate & understanding of the individuals that make these encounters weird, but that doesn't make the situations any less interesting and/or entertaining. I also have to take into consideration the very real possibilty that I myself may be considered on of the weird people in other people's stories.

In this story, I am, of course, the Midwesterner. I was suppose to have dinner in Manhattan with 2 friends, but one needed to cancel, so the other friend and I met in a Queens barrio named Kew Garden. It was a nice Irish Pub that had a patio area. It was a lovely day, we opted for the patio.

As we sat down, I noticed the bohemianesque looking woman sitting about 15 feet away, her feet surrounded by bags of fruit from the fruit market next door. She looked a little worst for wear, she had lip stain on that was bleeding into the rest of her face, dark eyeliner that was certainly applied with care and deliberation at least a day before. It was now quite weathered looking as well. She had a nice flowy skirt and a big wide necked sweatshirt on (a la Flashdance cover) and of course no bra (what true bohemian would wear one?!). her overall demeanor was that of being lonely. It made me a little sad for her.

We ordered the fried (did I mention we were at a PUB) brie entre, and they brought it sitting in some red fruit sauce. DANGER! CAUTION!

"Uh, is this strawberry or raspberry?" I asked of the waitress. I see the woman flagging me down. I acknowldge and she tells us that it is really good. "Thanks," I tell her.

"No, it's really good! It's cheese!"

"Yes, we are aware of that, but we are inquiring about the sauce."

"It's really good too, you eat it with the cheese!"

"Yes, thank you..." and we tried to go about out meal. I only get so few precious moments with this friend. We were quickly lost in our diadic conversation again only to notice a few minutes later, the Fruit Lady was flagging us down again.

"Did you like it?"

"Yes, thanks"

"I am so sorry, I don't mean to keep bothering you two!"

Well, yes she did, 'cause it was deliberate and persistent, but I let it slide & let her know she was fine and she was not a bother. Truly at that point, she wasn't.

I tend to drink a lot - not alcohol, just beverage in general, so I had to find the loo. I am doing what you do in a loo and I hear the door open, see feet, hear the door to the next stall open...and stay open...feet are still out in the open area...uh, AWKWARD!

I walk out to wash my hands & there she is. "I thought I might run into you down here!" and then she proceeded to ask me a battery of questions about who my friend is and how I know her and how she just feels something comforting about me. All the while I am thinking "Please God, don't let me be raped in a NYC bathroom!" Until now, she seemed harmless. Now, she crossed over to oogy & weird, but still a great deal of pity was in my heart for her. She seemed so lonely. The oog factor won out. I got the Hell out of Dodge.

Back up on the patio, I relay the story to my friend and her jaw drops. The Fruit Lady returns, finishes off her 2 glasses of wine that were sitting in front of her and proceeds to keep trying to talk to us always following it up with "I am so sorry to be bothering you!" and orders another wine.

Between finishing her 3rd wine, she visited the loo one more time and asked us to protect her fruit, we obliged. It behaved. Even the rascally blueberries. You always have to keep an eye on them.

She paid her bill, collected her fruit and left. So we thought. She circled around and ended up standing next to our table! She proceeded to tell us how nice we (I) was and how she felt so comfortable talking to me. My friend blurted out "Yeah, she's from the Midwest, they are all nicer out there." The woman started talking politics, health care, television...you name it, she covered it. My friend got up and had her trip to the loo. On her way, she reached the top of the patio, where I could see her just over Fruit Lady's shoulder, and started doing the running man, laughing & pointing. I heard her life story. Seriously. Her. Life. Story.

Ultimately, she truly was just lonely and had a really rough day. I offered a hug. She wouldn't let go at first. Again, awkward. However, it did me no harm and maybe was the best thing that happened to her that day, so where's the problem? All of the other patrons in the place were mouthing "You are way to friggin' nice," "Wow...," or "I am so sorry!" Again, other than losing out on quality time with my friend, it was not that big of a deal. Again, she needed someone & I was OK with being that someone. I just wish she would have left out the bathroom stalking.

My friend returned and we paid the bill, solely to get away from her because we did want to finish our discussion. As we walked out, the staff thanked us for "putting up with her" to which my friend again replied "eh, she's from Indiana, it's in her blood." The waitress happened to be from Kalamazoo. I told her if she really felt bad for us that she would have given us free beer. She just laughed at that. I didn't.

It was such an odd encounter. But, in a way, I am glad I was able to be there for her and she was there to give us a little more spice to our evening. So, if you are ever on a Delta flight from NYC to Italy, and you see a bohemianesque flight attendant that smells faintly of fruit, wine & pub food, tell her I said hi!