Half the Battle?

So, I have been on the Weight Watcher wagon. It's been going well. Luckily, I recall how the program works and they are still running it the same way. Don't fix what isn't broke, right? To date, I am down 4.8 pounds on their scales. I prefer my naked morning weight that is 4 pounds lighter. Either scale you look at, the numbers have been consistent and consistent in the right direction, down.

In a way, being familiar with the program is a hindrance. Last time I joined it was a culture shock and I lost a lot of weight the 1st 2 weeks. This time, not so much. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining that I lost +/-5 pounds. It's just that I have a LONG way to go and I know that I let it drop on my priorities before, so I need to be cautiously optimistic in my celebrations.

Making the decision to go back to WW wasn't nearly as difficult as the 1st time. It was as if I were going into a sex toy store/porn shop ~ looking shiftily from side to side, making sure no one that knew me would see me. This time, my inner self was telling the other personalities that reside there "Uh, sweetie, they all know you're chubby...at least they know you are doing something about it instead of making excuses or using cutting humor to make light."

I have felt tight in my skin. I have felt tight in my clothes. I am embarrassed seeing how I look like I am pregnant in photos, how I take up most of the frame. I don't like that I have felt my heart palpitations more and more and that with my family, stress equates to eating. I need to change my relationship with food.

A friend is on a similar mission, but has a far shorter journey than I do. He posted his starting weight. I wont being doing that. Once I am far enough from the starting point that it seems like another life, another person, I may disclose where I started, but for now, I need to keep that close to the vest. I have shared it with a few, but public disclosure scares the shit out of me. Suffice it to say, I am overweight. I know it. I am trying to do something about it. It will be a long journey, but I know I have the support of some amazing people. If we go to dinner, you can be one of those people too...one of my best friends splits her order of fries with me ~ I get just a couple and she gets the rest. We both win, I quench my fry-lust and with the portions they usually give, she doesn't miss the 4 or 5 I take. It's a win-win.

This is my 1st time traveling for work while on the plan...it's challenging ~ I should know, it's why I fell off the wagon in the first place. Damn, those fries are smelling good....