Saturday, September 25, 2010

I Never Said I Was Smart!

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uhm…uh…sigh…uh…excuse me Avis man that can’t speak English, but I don’t seem to understand the “push here to start,” maybe I will have better luck understanding you? One would think it’s fairly straight forward.  I mean, even Ren & Stimpy knew how to push the shiny red button (don’t push it!") ~ and their button worked.  I seem to be simplistically challenged.  Make it too simple and I can’t handle it.  THAT’S IT!  I am too intelligent for the car!

001 The fob was in there (cool, you mean i can have the fob in my POCKET and the car will (supposedly) still start?!  Nuts, you say!

I am pushing the button that states “push here to start”…the electronics come on…but what the heck, the engine wont engage?!  Do I have to stroke it’s ego? Buy it dinner?  What?  Is it like the horse I rode once that decided that I wasn’t worthy and would only walk straight into the thorn bush?  Bastard horse.  You ruined a good bra that day, Mister Ed.  Not all of us have thick hides…especially not Victoria and her secrets.

I have a college degree.  I like to think I have common sense.  Guess not, at least when it comes to automotive and electronics…case in point (and no one needs to bring up the Honda Paperweight and VW Fritzmobile).

So I sit. I sit defeated by a Nisson.  A NISSON!  Not even a manual transmission or a BMW… or a Porche, but an automatic NISSON?

I give u…wait, what’s this little illustration over here?  A brake pedal PLUS the start button?  Huh…OK…I’ll try the instructions.  Imagine that…it worked!  (Mental note, next time look for instructions and follow!  …Thank God, I am pretty…although I thought I was smart too…guess the Ugly Blog will be coming soon too…)

buttonNow, on to the Long Island Expressway where I haven’t thought to check whether or not Avis has reprogrammed the navigational system to the defaults and I get to try to reset them on one of the busiest highways in the country because some ya-hoo has told it to avoid highways, u-turns, traffic (seriously…avoid traffic?!  it’s a NAVIGATIONAL SYSTEM…fairly certain there will be “traffic” everywhere…you’re on STREETS), tolls, trolls, blue cars, green rusty trucks, and people with white shirts.  Just a thought…if you need to avoid all of that stuff, you should take a taxi or hire a service in NYC.  Just saying.

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