“Uh…help?”

Ridiculous story #2

I SWEAR the house I rented in River Park was haunted.  It was either that or there was black mold. Whatever it was, weird things happened to me while living there.

The house was a cute little 2 bedroom one bath bungalow.  The bathroom was redone right before I moved in.  They took out a beautiful lion claw cast iron tub for a cheap little fiberglass one. Disappointing.  To add to the disappointment, the landlords anticipated and elderly person would rent the home and they put in a low sided narrow tub.  Further, whoever they had install the thing used KITCHEN plumbing.  There was no opportunity to install a shower.  My Dad, Charlie the Wonder Plumber said it couldn’t be done, not the way they set it up.  Great…

The alternative was for Dad it install a “disposable” shower in the basement.  But, for a while, I had to use the tub. 

Since there was just a faucet and a weird/wrong one at that, I had to lay on my back in the tub to wash my hair.

I laid down to wash my hair and “SMOOK!”  The small of my back suction-cupped to the bathtub!  Since the tub was narrow, and I am no longer narrow, I couldn’t really move.  Nor could I maneuver my arm under me to break the suction.  Uh…what to do!?  I had no phone. No roommate.  No one else had a key.

“Help?” I thought to myself laughing while experiencing my own form of Chinese Water Torture.  1st step: turn off water.  2nd step: figure out how to break the suction.

After doing a little contortion act, I finally got my arm twisted around and “POP!”

I am fr… OUCH! So, the suction was broke, so I slid and hit my head on the faucet.  Not to mention, I had a hickey across the small of my back.

I was a little late to work that day.  My boss & co-workers didn’t seem to be surprised when I relayed the story.  They opted not to check out the lumbar hickey.