maybe you're right?: National Phallic, I Mean Monument

555’ 5-1/8” of pure annoyance. I don’t like this monument. Don’t know why, really. I just never have. Maybe it is my history of prudishness and the fact that this is quite phallic. I am obviously not the only one that thinks this. I even found the following image for a suggested remodel:

I personally think this is a redundant. Already looks like a penis, it doesn’t need the accoutrements.

I think my aversion to the priapic monument also has to do with no matter where you go in DC, there it is with it’s demonic glowing eyes, standing tall, erect. I know it was designed to be that way and, from what I recall, it will remain the tallest structure in DC. Yay.

I felt I needed to give Ol’ Stiffy a chance and read up on it a bit. “Know Thine Enemy” and all…All I really remembered was that it’s 555’5-1/8” tall, it isn’t the original plan, and that it was built in 2 phases. If you look at it, you can see the difference in the marble about 1/3 of the way up. A silly little Civil War got in the way of construction. I do feel betrayed though. I distinctly remember being told that it was built with Indiana limestone. I find out now that it is not. That’s all I had to try and tie some affection to it, now that is gone.

Thanks to Wikipedia, I learn that the aluminum capstone has information inscribed on each side. It bugs me that on the east side was once scribed “"LAUS DEO," which is Latin for "Praise be to God." I cannot confirm with the information that I found if it was actually removed from the display model and the actual replacement capstone or if it’s just absent from the display. Either way, it’s something else people can blame on George Double-Yah, ‘cause he did it. he gave the OK to remove it from one or both of them. I am not overly religious, but it does bug me when they mess with history. Especially when it’s not hurting anything. And technically, isn’t that free speech? Was the mostly unknown phrase really hurting anyone? Really? Did they do it to save the $20 engraving fee at Things Remembered? I just don’t get it. I mean, how many people realize it even had a capstone, much less be bugged by what’s engraved? “I refuse to drive down Mass Ave & the National Mall because in 1884 they let people believe in God. Praise him even. The gall! The audacity!”

I DID find it interesting that at time of construction, aluminum was as valuable as silver…go figure. At least now, knowing that the capstone is aluminum, I can at least giggle imagining the annoying artifact wearing one of those tin foil hats.

I feel I need to give the Monument a chance to defend itself, so here, read about it if you will!