Out of My Element

Whimper

Whine

Whinge

Cry

Sob

Yes, I have done all of the above.  Add in bawl and blubber like a baby too.  All of which just piss me off more. Grrrr.  Time to get tough, girly britches.

It is difficult because my guess is that only a few people really understand why I fell apart when my car went kaput westbound at mile marker 48 on US I-80.  It’s a car.  I could (somewhat) care less.  It’s money, yes.  Money that I don’t have.  I was expecting bad, but tried not to assume it was the worst either ~ my family has a tendency to jump to worst case scenario.

But my break down (versus the car’s) was more self pity for the other crap that I have been bottling up. This is just an inanimate object/situation in which I can exert that energy without having to deal with the real issues at hand (that ironically aren’t my issues to begin with ~ I just got drawn into it).  Drama finds me. I think my Element knew I needed an emotional dump and it sacrificed itself for my sanity.  Good lil’ car.  Momma loves you, even if you are as useful as a paperweight at the moment.

And just for the record, all of the “Wow, I am surprised!  MY Honda has 330,000 miles on it and I never even put oil in it?!” doesn’t help.

I may have found an old HS friend that can help me out with conducting the heart transplant on my self-sacrificing car…keep your fingers crossed for me.